Linda asks…

Do people have separation/ Divorce parties?

I’ve seen in card shops pertaining to separations and divorces. But the reason I ask is mostly out of curiosity.People have babyshowers, wedding showers, second marriages where they have a full blown regular wedding due to one party never being married before. So would someone have a such a party for just celebration or as a”shower” so too speak as a way of starting over new and fresh?

answers:

I have heard of this but only from movies and TV shows. Some cards are created just to get you to buy something when there is no actual need. I can’t see anything wrong with this sort of party; however, a separation seems too personal to do this and the people might just get back together. It can be embarrassing and harmful to the marriage to let out the dirty linen when you might get back together. It isn’t like sharing with your mother or a best friend.

When I divorced, I found the situation too sad to celebrate. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t glad for it to be over, just that it is hard to be with someone for years and see it end badly. Of course, I wasn’t divorcing Donald Trump and having expectations of $$$ afterwards.

Daniel asks…

When does the pain of divorce stop hurting?

We are nearing the end of the divorce process. The other party has offered to settle. I’m the one who filed. Why is it that I am so hurt and sad? Why is it that I can’t stop crying? I don’t think I would ever go back but why am I so hurt still?

answers:

It is natural to grieve the death of the dreams and hopes of your life with your spouse. Your sadness comes from facing the fact that an important period in your life is over. You should give yourself permission to cry if you feel like it.

Edit: I’m pretty sure the first two people who answered you have never been married. I am married.

Lisa asks…

What would happen if all of the no fault divorce laws were repealed and you had to have legitimate grounds?

Why don’t men fight to have all of the no fault divorce laws repealed? If the party can’t prove adultery or abuse then either the divorce is not granted or if so the other party is not harmed financially i.e. child support, alimony, division of property? Wouldn’t this be fair to all parties involved?

answers:

No, it would not be fair. First of all, I don’t want some judge deciding the fate of my marriage. If I and/or my wife wants out of a marriage, the state should not have the power to FORCE you to stay with someone you can’t stand. Anyone should be able to divorce whenever they want. Anything less than that is slavery. NOBODY owns me. Not even my wife, who I love very much.

Child support is not, as you called it, “financial harm.” You had kids, now you gotta pay for them. Period. And it will be that way until those kids are 18 years old (and probably longer). This is only right. If you have kids, expect to pay for their care and upbringing for as long as you live. And the less time you spend with them, the more you should have to pay. Most people don’t seem to realize that these rules come with having kids. If the rules seem unattractive, my advice is to not have kids!

As for alimony, well, sometimes alimony makes sense and sometimes it doesn’t. If the mother wins custody, and makes significantly less money than the father, then it is in the interests of the children that the father financially support the mother of his children while she raises them. That’s just life.

Division of property is only fair. If you owned something BEFORE marriage, then that should remain yours. For example, if you own a house free and clear BEFORE marrying, you should get that in the divorce. But if you bought the house AFTER you were married, then yes, she should get half it’s current equity. She supported the family by either working, paying the mortgage, or raising your children while you worked. That means she’s earned a piece of that house. ANYTHING purchased while the two of you are married is half hers. She’s sharing your bed, your home, and helping care for your kids. That earns her something.

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Richard asks…

Can judgments of divorce be changed only by one party?

I was divorced from my wife last Friday and the next day she was arrested for dem viol against me. Our house is for sale and I had an offer on it that I know she would accept. She will not contact me back about or anything else including bills and taking now her dogs from our home that I am living in.

The judgment states she can reside here but is choosing not to which is better anyways.

We were getting along fine until the arrest and now I think she is trying to get out of the divorce judgment.

Can she? Not to get married again but I think she now has decided it isn’t fair or something. I don’t know but it’s fishy she doesn’t want to close on this house ASAP??? The judge signed off on it but is there a so called 48 hour free look or something were it can be voided???

Please help. I am talking with a lawyer Thursday but was wondering now. It has me stressing!

Thanks!!!!!

answers:

Once the divorce is final, the decree is a COURT ORDER. Even if you both agree, it can only by changed by the court. If the divorce is not yet final, either party can still contest the settlement. In the case you describe, I doubt the court would take her side.

Daniel asks…

In a Divorce, does the other party get a record of e-mails sent?

I am copying and organizing papers for a woman I work for (for workstudy in college) and she handed me a stack of papers to organize and told me not to let anyone in the office see them as they are private and about her daughter’s divorce. As I’m looking at the papers, I am realizing that these papers are all e-mails between the ex-husband and his lawyer discussing various issues about child custody, the divorce, etc.

If i’m not mistaken, doesn’t this mean that my boss has somehow hacked in to her daughter’s ex-husbands email account and has access to all these private emails? As far as I know, the opposing parties don’t get records of all the correspondence between the other side, correct? I also have a feeling that these emails were never meant to find her because the ex-husband discusses my boss (his ex-wife’s mother) and how she is getting in the middle of the situation and causing problems.

I was just wondering what someone else’s take on this is. The e-mails were all printed from that man’s email account. My boss had me make copies of all of them and kept one set for herself and then put one in an envelope to bring to an attorney- I am assuming this is the attorney helping her and her daughter. I just feel like something really fishy is going on and I wanted someone else’s input.
I don’t have a lawyer, I am only a in college and do work for this woman as a work study job.

I also do not believe I can get in trouble for seeing them, she GAVE them to me and told me they were not for anyone else in the office to see but they weren’t covered and I had to go through them to organize by date, etc. I didn’t do anything wrong, it was pretty easy to see that these papers were from an email account and that they were between the same two people.

answers:

Yes it is a breach of ethics and attorney-client privelege for your boss to have copies of her former son-in-law’s e-mails to his attorney (unless he gave them to her himself). It’s also a breach of ethics for her to ask you to copy and organize these papers since they are personal and not work-related.

However, it’s also unethical for you to have read them. I’d suggest you contact a lawyer of your own and find out how you should handle this.

Jc

Donna asks…

how long would it take the judge to sing off a divorce paper unsigned by one party?

answers:

No judge would sign off on papers that were not signed by all parties involved.

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Donna asks…

Divorce when 1 party denies to sign?

I have a friend who wants a divorce from his wife but the wife made it clear that she will not sign the divorce papers. Is it possible for him to still divorce her? What are the steps and what do you suggest he do next? Thank you…
He has worked very hard to save this marriage. This woman mentally and emotionally tortures him. Unfortunately this was an arranged marriage. He is currently living in Georgia and she lives in MD. They have been living apart for a couple months now. Their kids are all over 18 years old also.

answers:

Then he goes ahead and files and the judge will rule based on the merits of the case presented.

Carol asks…

Filing for divorce Does anyone know if it takes 2?

When filing for divorce does both parties have to sign. I know they dont if you cant find them, what if the other party does not wnat to sign can 1 person do it.

answers:

Only the person filing for divorce has to sign (to file). There is a lot more involved than just filing for it though. Filing is just the first step.

Chris asks…

How do I get an international divorce when the other party can not be found?

As soon as I found out that he was using me to get into the states and questioned him about it, he says he can marry up to 4 women and is not worried about any divorce. I need to divorce this man. He has vanished. Don’t know where he is at all. No communication whatsoever. He is muslim, which he failed to tell me at the time. He did tell me he no longer wants me as his wife, in muslim law, that is divorce there. I only files for a petiton to get him here, at first then I canceled it when I found out he was a liar. they did cancel it and all procedings were stopped. Now I am left with not knowing what to do and have very little income so I can not go to a lawyer. I need to do this on my own and do not know how to or where to start. I need help from anyone who has been in my shoes or knows of what I can do. I never filed any marriage things in the courts here. In the “contract” of marriage there, when we got married at the embassy, they put my mothers last name wrong and I know all thing
I know all things on the marriage contract there are supposed to be right and it was not. It has been at least 7 months since I have had any contact. I do know that he moved and I do not know his address or where he is at all.. He never stepped foot in the states at all. And I am stuck to take care of this here. I am lost and feel stupid and do not know where to go from here. Please help me. I live in California, and I do intend one day to marry a us man one day and I dont need this mistake hanging over my head. The ex has no worries, coz he can marry up to 4 women with no problem. And he I do know with the last contact he still preys on women in these states and there is no way to stop him! I found this out when I got home from Egypt and saw he was still looking for more women, to see who can get him here faster! thats when I knew he was a con artist! He lives in Egypt or did live there. What do I do>?

answers:

You can just file a divorce regular. I don’t believe you need a layer since you both have nothing together.. The sooner the better. When the court calls in for a hearing you tell them the truth and you will be good to go.. In this case they don’t require the spouses signature. However if they need more information… They will let you know.
Good luck

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Mark asks…

Is there a time limit between when u file divorce papers until u serve the other party?

What if the other party is never served? (It’s not a case of a missing person, just a lazy & cowardly person not wanting to serve the other)
My friends husband filed on March 30th. & she didn’t know. She read it today in the newspaper under legal notices!!! She has not been served yet. We’re in California.

answers:

Im pretty sure there is a time limit… If you want to do it then do it already!

Daniel asks…

both party was ready for divorce & what is the producer of divorce?

answers:

Any one of the side

Nancy asks…

how do i get a divorce if other party cant be found to serve?

answers:

File for abandonment.

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Sharon asks…

If you are voting for one party and your spouse votes for the other would that be grounds for divorce?

answers:

No, but it sure would point to incompatibility problems with other things.

Donald asks…

Cheapest way to get a divorce, no assets, both parties willing?

I have seen lots of online companies advertising a cheap divorce – I thought every divorce needs to go through the courts, which is £340. So how can these companies charge less than that?

What’s the cheapest way to get a divorce when both parties are willing to sign, there are no assets and no children involved?

answers:

Yes, because marriage is a legal contract, you will need a court hearing to grant you a divorce. If you have already agreed on the financials then it should be a fairly painless affair.

There are some costs you cannot avoid e.g. The court costs – these run out at about £430. And the clean break costs which will be another £100. The companies that offer cheap divorces are probably not including the court costs in their figures. The lowest solicitor managed cost I have seen is around the £700 mark including all court costs etc. If you are on benefits or a low income you may get the court costs waived. The lowest DIY figures I have seen would amount to around £600, including all court costs. For the extra £100 it is probably worth getting a solicitor to handle the red tape.

Charles asks…

Is Divorce Null and Void If One Party Lied About Assets?

Can a divorce be considered legally null and void if one party lied about a major asset (a pension fund) by failing to disclose it? They signed that they were telling the truth and disclosing all. They also testified to this in the courthouse.

answers:

No, the divorce is still legal and final. The property settlement however can be reopened and a new distribution can be created taking into account the Pension Fund and the fact that he lied about it. You should talk to a lawyer or to legal aid or the family law department of your courthouse to find out how to file to reopen the property award. Do it soon because once you find out about the fund the clock starts ticking on how long you can take to bring it to the court’s attention. It might make more sense however, if you know the value of the fund, just to ask the other party to give you 1/2 the value and you can all avoid the expenses of lawyers and court.

Good Luck.

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Lisa asks…

if one party files a legal seperation ,can the other party file divorce papers after?

a legal seperation was filed and served to wife,date for hearing is 12/31/2007. In Contra Costa County , CAlifornia. His Wife 2 weeks later filed divorce papers , is this possible and what can now be done or is there nothing that needs or can be done to prevent divorce before legal seperation takes place?

answers:

California does not require a legal separation before divorce. If she just wants to end it she can disagree with a legal separation, and just divorce you.

Carol asks…

how can i get a divorce when the other party wont sign the papers with children?

answers:

If you file for a divorce and he will not sign the forms then you have to file an anouncement in the local newpaper to anounce the divorce. If there is no one calling the court house to say you cant get divorced then afther it runs for 90 days you can get your divorce. That is what i know from california law

Steven asks…

When getting a divorce, can the agreement papers be changed AFTER one party has signed?

I asked for the divorce, HIS attorney sent the Settlement Agreement to my attorney. I have signed, but now my ex wants to go for custody instead of him OFFERING and AGREEING that he is giving ME primary residential and HE asked for and I agreed that we would have 50/50 custody. He wants this all changed. Can he do that? (not getting a response from my attorney)

answers:

Not if he has also signed it.
It is not a valid agreement until both parties have signed it, AND the judge in the case has also signed it.

However, if he has not signed it, or it has not been approved and signed by the judge in the case yet, then yes he can change his mind and go for something different.

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Ken asks…

What happens if the other party doesn’t respond to divorce papers?

I have filed the petition, but I think my husband is going to stall because he doesn’t want a divorce…not because he loves me or anything sentimental, but because he doesn’t want to split any assets. Obviously if we remain married, he doesn’t have to give me anything. I’m bothered he will just put his papers in the bin.

answers:

First you have two issues here.

One, is the filing and summons which needs to be served on the ex. If he refuses service you can peition the court for service by publication. It’s a process that requires first attempting to serve him in other approved methods but it can be done.

You can also petition the court on his refusal to accept the service. You’ll need affidavit proof that he refused and didn’t just not live there or wasn’t available.

Secondly, once you filed the petition, the marital priviledge ceased. Therefore, if he converts any marital asset (i.e., sells something that was purchased during the marriage or takes money out of the joint account) you can have him cited for illegal conversion.

If you have an attorney then the process, while longer, should be done correctly. If you do not have an attorney, based on the fact that your soon to be ex may be difficult, I would strongly suggest you obtain the services of one.

Sandra asks…

Should a minor child have independant counsel if made a party to parents divorce agreement?

two people divorcing, part of their divorce agreement will put 50% of real estate in the Childs name with his father. The agreement take his mother’s name off the property and the son’s name goes on. Should this child have independant counsel considering that neither parent can act objectively in the child behalf?

answers:

Very good question. I believe that it would be in the child’s best interest to have a lawyer check over the documents to make sure everything is on the up and up.

Charles asks…

Why is the Party of Family Values plagued by open marriage, adultery, divorce, and scandals?

answers:

Because they are human…just like the other side of the isle. Republicans just get crucified for their indiscretions, unlike Democrats who are made to look like they are the victims…it’s the vast right wind conspiracy that made that girl swallow Bill.

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Charles asks…

Can you get a divorce without one party knowing about it or signing any papers?

answers:

If the other party goes missing then you could get a divorce without them knowing about it.

If they died you could get a divorce form them (so that perhaps the in-laws didn’t get access to the kids).

Battered women can get divorce without the guy knowing but these are all special circumstances.

Betty asks…

Which Political Party has a higher divorce rate?

Republicans are always talking about the sanctity of marriage, but I bet a lower rate occurs among the democratic party voters.

answers:

Lets talk numbers:
George W Bush-married once
Dick Cheney-married once
Ken Mehlman (RNC Chairman)-never married

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist:married once
Conference Chairman Rick Santorum:married once
Roy Blunt:married twice
John Boehner:married once

All in all, not a bad record, until you get to the lower level Republicans like Newt (served his wife with divorce papers while she was in the hospital) and pundits like Rush (on wife #3).

All in all, I think the divorce rate for “Christian” conservatives and limousine liberals is about equal. Neither can claim the “moral high-ground” on this.

Richard asks…

how long does it take after papers are filed for divorce for the other party to be served?

Also When one party goes to another state to visit and does not return , with your child, and has no intention of returning, is this then kidnapping?They have now been gone for 4 mths. He said I will never see my child again and refuses to let me see him.

answers:

Yes that is kidnapping and it takes 3 months for the papers to be finalized

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Mary asks…

If you have a final decree of divorce from alabama with no signature is it valid?

It does have a judges signature but neither party divorcing signed?

answers:

All that matters is the judge’s signature. It’s done.

Mark asks…

how can you get a divorce if the other party is in hiding because he refuses to pay child support?

He is around, people have seen him. but refuses to accept papers from anyone and will deny who he is if approached by someone he doesn’t know. We dont have any mutual friends that could step in on my behalf.
I cant afford a lawyer, or PI as I am raising two kids on my own right now. I am not complaining my any means we are better off with out him, but I would really like to get unattached from him legally.

answers:

You file the divorce and if you don’t know where he is then it will take a month or two longer. You will get everything because he is not there to contest it. Have the judge set a child support amount and since he isn’t there you show past tax records of what he has been making and whenever you do find him he will have to pay back support. Just get it all going and don’t worry about him. The courts will deal with him.

Michael asks…

divorce when one party is absent?

my father abandoned my mother and siblings 5 years ago and we have not been in contact with him since. my mother wants a divorce but how can this be done if my father isnt around to be part of the process

answers:

The process is a little different, but far easier than doing it when the old rascal is around. The biggest issue is that you have to prove that you really have tried to find him, so keep records and copies of your efforts.

If you can’t locate him, you might be able to do the divorce without an attorney if your local courthouse has a self-help office, which will make the whole thing a lot less expensive.

But, if you do find your father, consider getting an attorney because he may be able to get child support including the money he would have had to pay over the time he has gone missing.

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Donald asks…

How long does it take to get a divorce in the UK if one party does not agree to it?

My husband and I separated around 6 weeks ago (not legally – he decided just to move out) but I want to try and rebuild our marriage. We’ve already started counselling. But if he decides he wants a “clean break” after all (his words) then how long can I make him wait until that happens?
And PLEASE don’t tell me to “move on”. I don’t want to. I want to fight for our marriage.

answers:

This is a difficult one, if he has no grounds for divorce, i.e, there has been no adultery or physical abuse etc, then he has a couple of routes, he can go for irretrievable break down (which he will have to prove) or unreasonable behaviour, (this one is the most common because it is almost impossible to quantify what is unreasonable). What is unreasonable to him may be reasonable to most other people, however, he would probably be granted a divorce in the long run.

If he is in no hurry, he can simply move out and after a maximum of 5 years but could be as little as 2 years, he will be able to get a divorce granted whether you fight it or not.

You cannot make him stay married to you unless he wants to. You can use delaying tactics, and if you think that this would result in rebuilding the marriage then go for it, but if he really wants out, then there is little or nothing you can do to stop him.

All the above said, get advice from CAB or a lawyer. Good luck

Mark asks…

In Arkansas, If one of the party wants a divorce and the other doesnt, how can you get a divorce?

I have a friend who wants a divorce and his wife says she will never give him one. I read somewhere that if they live apart from eachother for 18 months then a divorce is given even if she doesnt sighn the papers. Is this true?

answers:

He just needs to go see a lawyer and file for divorce. She does not have to sign the papers, once the papers are ready, she can be served the papers and the clock starts. If she has not responded to the papers by the deadline, the divorce will happen by default and the judge can grant the divorce according to the papers if the judge agrees with them or can modify them if they feel it is necessary, but she can not stop the divorce. She can make it very ugly, drawn out and costly if she wants to, but she can not stop it by not signing the papers. He just needs to let his lawyer know that she needs to be served the papers and she will probably not sign the papers.

Michael asks…

married 7 yrs, never lived together.want divorce from one party- tamilnadu state?

wife disagree for mutual divorce.husband filed a case in tamilnadu, how long will it take?

answers:

You never lived with your spouse?

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